By Lisa Spodak (ResultsNotTypical@worldnow.com)
Provided by WorldNow
I'll admit it – I have a Google alert for my name that emails me whenever something is said about me on the Internet. I set it up mostly to track mentions of my fundraising projects for The Avon Walk for Breast Cancer, but sometimes it shows me other things as well.
The other day, I got a link to a blog post talking about this blog and after reading it, I felt really embarrassed about how I've let my good habits, and my writing, slide.
The blogger talked about being inspired in particular by my "week to week commitment" to writing. She was up to Week 81 and all I could think about was how disappointed she'll be when she gets further along and realizes that I've let go of that commitment.
I'm still having a lot of trouble getting back into a good groove. I think the big problem is that I'm so stuck in the negative feelings of failure tied up in gaining some of the weight back that I can't seem to get the momentum to move forward again.
But I'm not ready to give up.
I'm taking baby steps and trying not to put too much pressure on myself, but I've decided that October is going to be my "Get Back on Track!" month. I'm going to try to filter out all the feelings tied up in where I've stalled in my weight loss journey and instead focus on those finite four weeks as a project. I'm still trying to decide if my best move will be going back to Weight Watchers, focusing on calorie counting, or trying a food delivery program.
I've got another day to figure it out.
I know I promised monthly update photos, but, I just don't feel up to it today. I almost put off writing again just to avoid posting a picture, but, I decided something was better than nothing and hope you won't begrudge me waiting until I'm feeling a little bit better about my efforts to take a new picture. My goal is to take one the weekend of The Avon Walk here in NYC on October 16.
I'm also dropping the "Year without a scale" thing for awhile. I have successfully cut way back on the frequency of my weigh-ins, but I don't feel comfortable stopping entirely until I know I'm back on track and moving in the right direction again.
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